County through County ... by Coach ...

Travelling From Built Up Space to Open space ... and more before the evening darkness fell ...

... it is a little disorientating ... I was asleep for some of this journey ... 

What I did get to see of the journey before darkness fell, was unusual to me still. The expanse of space in the rural areas were beautiful to see again. This is what I grew up with. The vivid green with the now fading Autumnal colours were out of the world to see again ... 

The Policies of Retail Chains

Locally in my town we have an Aldi... My husband used to rave on about the benefits of this chain... I beg to differ ... When I can face entering this environment ... not only do I negotiate this very busy store, but the stock filling that also gets in the way... barging past you, ignoring you and rushing about with stress of targets this store strives for ... forgetting the customer ... like me silently struggling getting their purchases at times ...

I go up to a busy London City station picking up an item in another well known store chain...Marks and Spencer... This time again negotiating stock filling with luggage in tow 

They apologize for the small aisles and the consideration shown to the customer...not once ... but twice for bumping into me ... As we work round one another ...

They are really good in their customer relations; whereever you are in the country ... They seem happier in their work ...

21 November ... Christmas for One Until ...

Today is one month exactly to the next anniversary of late husband's passing ... 

I am having a few weeks with my family. I will then have some quiet reflection with my own time attending a Christmas Memorial Service on my own and other functions. I will be spending the 21st of the next month too on my own just before departing ...for a Christmas with my new family of our daughter's partner ... staying with her for the festivities.

Week Ago Today ... and Thursday

I went out ... other than that I have seen faces, but not the outside environments still bewildering to all the senses

The intensity of noise sights and smells

All the senses even touch ... is affected ...

Today I was going out this evening, to get used to the dark environment now we are approaching the shortest day; which is the anniversary of my husbands death ...

Unfortunately I bottled out ... I will try and get out in the day instead tomorrow ...

Thankful to Get To Do Again ... And New places built ... While isoalated ...

This is just an example of what I have achieved in my anxieties in conversing with the world again ...

Family have introduced me to the workings of the world again and things I missed being away from the world ...

• Eating in a cafe and restaurant 
• Costa for a good cup of coffee
• Shopping 
• Medical Appointments 
• Entering Artificial Environments 
• A Simple Country Walk 
• A Stile with Style ... giving sister a photo special to her 
• Travelling through familiar and new counties 

Back to Kernow ...

• Spending precious time with my dying Dad 
• First and last visit to where Dad took us ... to one of his favourite places in Cornwall ... Bodmin Moor ...
• This year my first visit .. post Widow ... of climbing above sea level to the top of Brea Hill at Daymer Bay giving a 360 degree view of the area... 
• Woodland walks ...  across fields ... up and down the valley hills of my old market town 
• As far South Westerly as Penzance ... 

Up north ... To Crewe and Manchester ... 

New Experiences ... since away from the world ...

• Millennium Bridge
• The Globe ... An open air Performance ... I had to sit out ...part way through 
• The Globe ... A performance by candle light ... so enchanted ... I managed the whole performance ...
• I had been to a medieval banquet years earlier as a treat by friends ... that was an amazing experience ... many courses ... it reminded me of that environment 
• Sevenoaks ... To sit three exams with two days learning
•                      First Aid and Defibrillator Training 
• Swanley ....... Training for Voluntary Work 

Back to See Fireworks ...

at our previous local display in a farmers field supporting the locality in entry and the refreshments all made and supported locally ... the backdrop of these fireworks being the local castle ruins ... over the river opposite the field.

There is always a parade with the Guy made and carried from the primary school to this field, with the traditional bonfire, where most of the crowds waiting to see the fireworks, congregate. 

This being the first time back since my husband passed away. 

These fireworks never in all the time we have been: fail to impress the appreciative crowd. Well worth the effort made to get there via a train journey and some walking. It was a clear night sky with the stars twinkling. A dry display this time. It was not cold either.

It Would be the Easiest Option to stay inside ...

with what can be done on line ... 

If you don't want to cook ... 

I have 3 Pizza companies; 3+ Indian and so much more I could rotate and have deliver ... 

On line shopping 

I had a taste of that when I was physically unwell to venture out ... too easy apart from minimum order for one and budgets ...

Deliveries of Entertainment 

Another hoarding nightmare ... which is a consumerism problem if of addictive nature which we are all susceptible to ...

White Goods and other household items 

Clothing Footwear

General Household Bill Paying 

Prescriptions Delivered 

All useful if you are housebound with difficulties different to my needs ... while I am able it is better to function back in society ... isolation is a source for so many ...

And that is if I want talk ... I have shook one and all off at the moment 

Whoops ... Sorry ... Love ...

baby on board ...as I got bumped first to the right and then behind ... on trickling out of the fireworks tonight ... in among the throng of people. It was as always up close and personal. I am starting to feel as though I never had that time away from society for a moment or two today, as we were jostling out of the recreation ground. 

Enjoying the Varied Environments ... anew ...

Walks Locally ..Up North .. Down South West .. Old and New ..

I have visited as far as Penzance in Cornwall this year. We were unable to travel far with Dad last year. And I have visited as far up as Manchester in the summer for my daughters graduation.

In between many woodlands, lanes, fields, church yards, hills, estate walkabout to see homes for sale my sisters passion, trails, parks aplenty, cities, urban areas, suburban and byways and highways ... exploring foot paths ... stiles with style .... rivers, fords, and the sea ... paddling too ...

And getting to see one of our most favourite areas climbing to the top of Brea Hill with

a 360 degree view of the North Coast of Cornwall ... at Easter this year with my sister ... seeing views of:-

• The Camel Trail
• The River Camel and its estuary 
• Daymer Bay 
• Rock 
• Padstow 
• The Atlantic ocean
• Trebetherick
• St Enodoc Church and golf course 

Interruption in Recovery ...

For the best part of a month I had a series of relentless moments in my physical health that put a halt in my recovery in getting used to being in different environments 

Only now even though I am awaiting an answer to my current questions in this .. I am slowly recovering enough to do things to aid the initial activities to keep me well occupied 

My appointment came swiftly as it needs to be solved sooner rather than later especially as my iron stores are in good order so far...

And what was put as to anxious moments were the meds and my body coping with the hard work that I have always said not taken seriously enough when the fluid that pumps around our body needs to be well looked after and not taken for granted. It feeds all aspects of our body. I also had some horrible Epistaxis to usual in May and June this year. 

Currently sitting under a canopy of trees

And the nearby church bell are chiming the quarter of the hour ...

The squirrels are darting about and there are quite a number of magpies 

Summer through ...

... Halloween in September 2015

Halloween in September
Consumerism
And as relenting as Christmas now; since I been away from the world! 

Summer Fireworks in Swanley Park 

Summer Array of Floral Displays 2015

This is my intermittent log of getting out to enjoy the seasonal delights. Among the days I do not venture even to the bin store.  Floral Displays to Fireworks that we indirectly pay for ... not entirely free. From nature to the Halloween consumerism. The fact we are not even in October yet and catching the youngsters ... who all stopped to admire the deliberate and well placed Halloween display of goodies to entice, and sell as you enter the store ... which will annoy some parents... 

That Last Thursday until ...

Monday afternoon ... not ventured out yet, not even just outside or to the bin stores ....

However, I have opened the half empty kitchen cupboard, that was moved to install the upgraded gas boiler, and all those infernal pipes to others; to me the kitchen is now warmer and cosier with the heat radiating off these pipes.

My cousin originally emptied the cupboard for me, them I semi refilled it to clear the mess it made for I could not stand it. Thus the gas engineers cleared this and put it all back at start of the works. I had missed the original appointment to move said cupboard. All this happened on moving back in, originally the upgrade was going to be installed before I moved back in, while I was in temporary accommodation for a few months when the home was being de-cluttered ... this  would have been so much easier ... without me to deal with as well, so newly grieved at the time and only working on automatic pilot with what I could achieve, at the time not that much, due to the fact I had, had a serious crush injury that was still healing ... and had flooded the home by this time and the MP had to be involved in getting the promised gas boiler upgrade.

TIME LINE brief ... so much happened ... besides ...

• Jan-March end ... in Temp Accommodation for clear of clutter, repairs and gas upgrade...
• April ... home flooded
• June ... Thumb accident
• July ... Finally nearly 5 months after said .... Upgraded gas boiler installation 

But such is life ... 

This cupboard being moved from a lovely convenient area, needs to be re-arranged to have items not used so often. It is not in such a convenient spot; but still a most useful streamlined space area although now in a different context. It is a case of finally, re-planning this space. 

Being in such a muddle in my mind also ... until trying to start somewhere, finally, now I have the time for myself. I am hoping for things to start to fall into place. I will be working out the best use of the cupboard this week (I hope). It has been half empty for too long and needs to function to give the rest of the kitchen counters a rest, from the items that should be in the cupboards by now.

This is the conflicts of living with hoarding; I am only just coming to terms with the fact my home will stay how I now organise it and not be bothered with the complexities that are no more.

The work triangle of the kitchen has always functioned, since moving back in ... (I am fortunate to have a reasonable size kitchen).

I just need it to be fully functional, with them stuffing up the pantry, with the items from the clear ... that no-one realised the task of overwhelming problems ... I have been left with ... and just no longer interested in stuff and sometimes life ... to do anything in this home. At that time, and more ... 

Terrible Thursday ...

we have these days from time to time ... I have them most of the time ... still I hope to get on with it once I acclimatise to the latest set backs ... and a set of new environments ... and new dismays ... my sis wanted to know how my start of English went today ... even though it is our night off from each other speaking on the phone ... but it was too much to do so ... of which my family are the first to let me come to terms with things in the way they are also learning; with the way I am now ...

Fluctuating ..

Sunday out .. Monday in .. Tuesday Out .. but missed Computer Studies .. Wednesday in the dark 

Fluctuating days; depressive times are upon me ... and not the fact that it is raining or windy or the longer evenings.  The fact is it is nearly a year since our Dad passed away. And the fateful time line in a September after the failed mulit-agency meeting that so lead to the undeniable events; that would change the course of our lives dramatically ...  

A Son Husband and Father who only again recently ... who is now not here to speak for himself; been bad mouthed yet again by a professional ... not good ... who do not know us ...

It is disrespectful ... no-one with mental health is bad ... 

I have noticed that in my own care ... we are not bad ... we are ill ... unwell ... call it what you like .. but we are not bad people ... 

Shown no interest ...

... for 48 hours ... in the outside world ... I have had some subdued hours ... to work though emotions ... left from those crisis days ... and making plans to have an ice cream in the park; before they shut down for the season ... 

I also leave some shopping items to help to get out ... it does not always work ... I adapt ... however, I do require the perpetual fresh necessities we all need; to sustain life ...

A Progressive Day ...

... keeping on top of the refuse and recycle that is perpetual. I have done this and progressively stocked up the freezer. I am patiently waiting for the repairs on the broken down chill cabinets in Aldi to finish the freezer top up of meals. 

And not until the evening today, did I venture out; at a time when the commuters are picking up shopping and flowers and staff going to work the evening/night shifts ... And many people still going home laden with armfuls of shopping. You do not see many shopping trolleys this time of day; such is the pattern of human nature.

The early morningers, the end of working dayers and all in between. The beauty of recovery, I get to see all parts of the day at present; until I too am, once again, in the grindstone of life again.

Briefly ... One Day ... Breakfast Another ... And ... In And and Out ... not Once ...

... but twice the very next day ... Concentration levels are fluctuating even with the fresh air. Apart from the memories and staring into space a tad, in dealing with these things running around in my mind ... I did finally get to pick up my parcel on Tuesday that I missed last week. 

For my English studies I found out a quality pen to make note taking more enjoyable. I still have yet to get used to paper clutter; I so detest now, to enable me to study. All the perpetual conflicts now a part of this life left now...

I enjoyed the breakfast out that I had planned for this week. My cousin had helped me initially to get used to the hustle and bustle of being out after the initial crisis and passing of my husband and I had started to go out very occasionally on my own after that; to eat a meal out. Unfortunately I have not done this since my Dad had complications from his illness and eventually he too passed away. I have not been out on my own since. It is well over a year or so. My concept of time is still sketchy.

I have not only done the usual putting of refuse and recycle out to keep on track ... I have taken the unnecessary items (still left from the complex hoarding situation of not one ... but two homes ...and all life trials that exacerbated these events) ... to the charity shops.

To go out and in like it is second nature; is such a challenge still. 

Unless you have been in the situation we faced. It is hard for some to understand how much of a challenge it is to re-adapt from that unrelenting time we had; in what was to be the final time of my late husbands life. 

The Sun Did Not Even Tempt ...

me on the third day of being in ... no rubbish out to the bin stores or outside to wipe down the other side of the kitchen window. 

The windows at the back were flung open. I had been exercising while doing the cleaning, consequently the energy levels were a bit better.  I also took the frustrations of recent life and times out on scrubbing down some of the kitchen. And cleaning the window and all that area too to make it all smell better. 

It can get so dank with the clutter; not good for the well being. 

I finished the day with a luxuriating bath and wound down the day with some of the things I love doing. 

And I require fresh milk and fresh bread. I do have long life milk and bread in the freezer. Tomorrow I need to collect a parcel; I missed last week. And I will need my meds.

Conflicts

both the feelings of lack of experiencing the outside and being a prisoner to the clutter ...

A lot for one person from those days to this ...

And no more explaining with the mouth since that Thundery Thursday

And let hope it doesn't **** me

Police in the Park

September 1st 2015

First time here for a few weeks and it was drizzling.  I have not really been out much since my Saturday walk that took a circular route to see different aspects of what is outside that door. The quiet route to town going through the town centre, walking in two parks of the town passing a catholic church. I also passed my temporary accommodation that was home for three months ... walking along lanes and home via footpaths. 

But then if I look back; that will tell me different ... I think I was in and out one day, like I did long ago. I definitely not been out today ... And I believe I went out late morning yesterday to post some letters and picked up some shopping.

   

Adapting to social change ...

Timeless ... but change too ..
Dartford Co-op in Kent
2015

that is taken for granted as you live it ... step out of society for a long while and there is such change.

Among some of the timelessness is a great alteration ... the change of shops in the high street or shopping centres. The talking self scans and other electronic changes. The aero dynamics of certain items ... including cars and buses and lorries etc

Electronic books and other devices being used instead of books at times. 

Modernisation of companies the sleekness or not in some of the ugly artificial designs of some buildings.

This only scratches the surface of what I faced after being enclosed with difficult circumstances. The fresh air wafting over the whole of your being the first time is the most sensational feeling ... and touch is only one sense of many ...

Winding down for a pleasant evening now ...

... putting a potato in the oven to bake in a minute ... in a dipped mood ... so stayed in ... would not be good company today ... at least dealt with a trigger problem that occurred today myself ... and being Lord of all he surveys today ... continuing on from ... one Thundery Thursday in August ...

Looking forward to having my planned activity out tomorrow or Friday ... I strived to do over the Bank Holiday and did not ... despite a trigger point tomorrow ... sis said no reason still not to enjoy doing it ...

supposed to have gone out again by now ...

... to start winding down the day ... I was carried away with both doing what used to be my Friday housework along with some clearing of unnecessary items ... and the an area not touched yet with so much going on in my life juggling clearing another property ... spending time with my family when I was much needed to support Dad through his recovery from surgery and spending time with him before he was to pass away ... nearly a year ago ... now ... let alone my own grief and recovery and so much more ... 

We are in his month of passing now ... along with events of an unbearable three month period to the lead up of my late husbands death too ... a few years back and still painful ... until it is rectified ... and I can move on ...

This September I will be starting my English ... at last ... back to my life ... 

Study day ... and Drizzle ...

... and after a few weeks break from the Computer Studies ... gently eased myself back in .. I have slowed in the amount of exercises I do per session probably more to do in each exercise as you go ... learnt 15 new segments so far ... it is very much worth doing ... makes everything fit together that had been self taught ... 

...hoping to go out again later ... both daughter and I are uneasy about something ... personal ... because of the way her Mum and Dad were treated which gives us feelings we both do not like ...and for me as a Mum I obviously don't like any more distress to our daughter at the best of times ... tons of reassuring words and advice ... she knows how it is for me ... so both in the same boat ...  the legacy of being shunned ... it reduced my late hubby to tears towards the end ... he was so ill ... he could not cope ... more words of reassurance then ... given out bucket loads ... and had reassurance ... back too ... some just do not understand Mental Health problems is just as serious as physically health problems ... 

Walkabout ... A Circular walk through the avenue of trees and more ...

certainly walked the highways byways footpaths lanes parks and more today ... set out through the town centre picking up an iced tea ...walking alongside our Asda  ... crossed the busy, busy road and sat a while in park 1 ... 

After absorbing my anxiety I set off again by the Catholic Church down to Bonney Way and walking by the home I lived in for a few months while the home was sorted ...down and across the top of North View into the Park ... skirting the perimeter and wading through the firework paper remnants from the night before.

Again sitting on a bench to calm my nerves ... to do the next stage ... of walking down through the avenue of trees by the school from Swanley Park into Hextable ... by now it had started to drizzle 

Walking along this lane into the village was not good on my nose ... diesel, tyre smells, and and again when I sat on the next bench the stench of doggy doos ... people must have used the general bin to dispose of ... this ... 

I carried onto the main road noticing the difference in the quality of hedgerows to other places I have walked, the pollution had ruined it a tad ... this route passed by the village hall ... where our daughter took part in the panto ... for many years whilst growing up ... 

The last part of the circular route  ... took me down the back of the homes along the footpaths back into Swanley ... stopping off in the Asda supermarket to get some nice bread ... and using the wi-fi for a blog entry ... then padded home for some refreshments ...  hoping to improve the appetite and sleep again ...

Tomorrow I plan to do something ... I have not done since 2013  ... when I was first visiting my late husbands resting place ... and my cousin first helped me with ... 

Fireworks on a Friday ...

Mid Evening

The Finale

a good enticement to go out ... and with daughter's encouragement did so ... and was well rewarded with the atmosphere, a red sky at night and culminating in the firework display lighting up the sky with an array of colour ... the noise was loud ... but none of the eerie whistles that some fireworks make as they take off ... 

I have seen the park now in all seasons ... enjoyed an open air cinema experience, and the fireworks ... both this park in the summer and the rec on Bonfire night ... 

2015

Have some plans to get out...

For much needed air... There is an avenue of trees alongside the school and trying to remember where things are and where the tap lessons took place...conflicts cloud some of the clarity of prior events before that time... And I still aim for those tentative plans too and wander around the heritage centre and lanes around the park here and the adjoining village... On the way to the church and pub too whether that will be today or over two days... Then settle in for the evening...watching a good film 

A balance with clearing too and functions and the task with health and paperwork and studies too

Finally ...

went out this evening ... still unable to shake off this low mood but went up the shop just before shift change ... which means only I know as always ... self aware ... good I have ... 

If you go after the shift change the eyes follow you ... that happened before my  isolation .... it is assumed you don't go out because of this ... not so in my case ... I was able to sit anywhere for any length of time and no-one challenged me as to why I was there ...  in those early days before I moved back home ... those three months in a different environment ... extraordinary times ... 

It happens because they think you are silly for not being at home tucked up in bed at that time of night  .... 

Friday 21-8-15 - Wednesday 26-8-15 did not venture out ... since Friday evening ... 

...finally went out Wednesday ... in the evening before shift change in the supermarket when all the pallets thunder out of the stores onto the floors ...

I have seen the world ...

... virtually today .. will try tomorrow to go further ... I have remembered more places to maybe visit ... student budget until my life turns round ... in no hurry ...  life is now simpler and less fuss ... I have seen many homes and would be nice to live off nature in the woods but aware leaving when no longer able to keep it up ... it is getting the balance right ... 

I have to go out now ...

went to see what I could entice myself to eat ... and ended up making another bin to put out which will freak me out as cluttering up the floor space ... 

And I didn't eat ... did make a drink ... 

I slipped badly today ... did not get on the bus to computer class even though I was ready ... so I will need to make extra effort to go out ... or it will slip into too many days ....

And work up an appetite ... although it is good for me I still need nutrition or become unwell again ...

Friday evening into the Weekend through Monday

not ventured out not even to the bin store ... not to get bus money for Tuesday ... so the task now is to get my bag ready ... back to study days and get focused ... and be a tad earlier in getting out ... unless I replaced my emergency money ... plenty to do and focus ... but to be bothered ... the fact you feel better like going for a walk or swim reminds me not to succumb ...

Sunday ... that are of now ... from then ... since when ...

Of old ... a traditional day of going to church in Sunday best or uniform for the in-laws ... until circumstances became us and disintegrated into what is today ... not ventured out since Friday evening ... and still as I was since that time ... although tidied and functioned of sorts in what was to become and cos hubby was to succumb to events ... it can be hard to this day from to carry on at times ... with what witnessed from one fall ... to one winter's day ... 

Thankfully I am getting occupied constructively instead of staring into space 

Boundaries of time ...

... although I went shopping the evening before to free up today more ...

This is an example of how I did not venture out today ... the boundaries of time that still gets lost to this day ... coupled at times with forgetting ...


However I did notice the weather today ... It was sunny first thing ...

Did get some of the necessary shopping done ... this evening ...

despite the horrendous blackness shadowing me today ... keeps tomorrow a bit more free  ... for attempting the walk to the village and having a drink ... daughter awaiting patiently for photos from London too ... she knows I will do it eventually ... as I do ... do what I say ... just sometimes takes a bit longer these days ... in the twists and turns of functioning in this lost of world I now am in ...

Yesterday ...

Didn't even think about going out ....

On waking I just splashed water on my face ... just pulled my hair together in a scunchie and tried to function ... thankfully kept yesterday simple as special days blur into normal  .... 

That is how it became boundaries of time disappears ... that has been a hard one to recover on ...

I didn't eat until late afternoon ... I have not changed ... from the day before ... I am wearing a nice ... universal outfit ... we adapted to in those final days ... 

So my task tomorrow is to function ... have a much needed bath to get rid of odour etc and it is the weekly keep on top of current paperwork time ... but also utility top up meter time .... I better not let that slip .... 

And work from there ... need to get out to do those tasks ... plus get at least to the graveside and check all is well ...

Back to the present ....

This will be my second day in this week at this rate ... but even I notice that is getting better ... trouble is even a decade down the line of living here ... I still miss my back door and particularly for 15 years worth of a lovely stable style back door .... perfect to bolt the bottom across .... when raising a young child with the river just yards from your home ... and particularly the back door ...

Those first few Weeks of being outside after being enclosed inside ... I am still not able to write about as of yet ... if ever ...

so fast forward from the first few weeks a bit ... back from now ... I remember falling all over the place ... landing in someones lap on the bus ... good job they were weighty like me ... otherwise I would have squished them ... 

On another occasion ... a kind stranger checked my leg and escorted me back to my temporary accommodation after I fell over rather badly in the street ...

Living social excluded from life ... from the stigma that still exists towards mental health and being shunned because of the ulcer smell made a difficult situation already horrendous ... much worse ... 

... I have heard so much since about this ... I am a naturally empathetic person ... no two situation is the same and it is not an exact science ... nor can the comments be exact either on the matter ...  that have since come my way ... 

Words will never fully express my appreciation to those who never judged us in my recovery since 

Adjusting to being not only outside and re-building my strength after lack of nutrition in the final times with my husband ... but being like a fish out of water out of my environment ... and the struggles of adapting to noise light and people in the outside world and talking machines and electronic advances ... among the timelessness of other elements ....

This is now part of my life ...

... two attempts to try to go out the door .... walk to the station that is not far from my home and board a train to the centre of London that happens not to be too far away ... for a bit of time in a city I lived and worked for two years of my early twenties ... 

I will still be trying as after the celebrating of another birthday without my late hubby ... they were plans to adapt to and leading up to the Autumn it will be a year since my late father too passed away  ... one sunny Autumn Tuesday morning ... in 2014 ...

This will keep me occupied with re-learning the art of planning a day out especially in unfamiliar or changed areas ... a lot has changed in that outside world that so eluded me for a while ... which I will elaborate on as this evolves ...

I am charting this for so many different reasons ... to raise awareness ... therapeutic to see these feelings portrayed through the different media I;m using and learning to touch type at the same time ... to boot ...

I have already unlocked and unleashed suppressed creativity from my complex way of life that came to be ...

On the Week My Late Hubby would have been ... 50 ...

... I made tentative plans to celebrate the birth of life of another unique life that we all bring here on this planet of ours we all share ... as we weave in and out of each others lives ... 

Unfortunately he is no longer here to enjoy this ... another birthday with us ... but that does not mean we cannot celebrate in our own way ... we are all different and because we lost so much time in living with such complexities that came our way ... not by choice ...  it is my way of coming to grips with the legacy left in this unusual time I now find myself in ... 

This unusual living style ... left me with a fear of lost time that passed by outside the one and only door to this home ... not even a choice of doors to walk through ....

Follow if you so will ... on this journal ... how I have adapted to life beyond that door now and since the end of the year of 2012 and literally the start of a very new life at the start of 

A Very New Year since 2013 ... to the Summer and beyond of 2015