The enticement

from a home delivery of groceries aiding my appetite back. The save of time in lugging. Despite the fact too weak a while to do so anyway. The time in heal of hormones awry. It does mean I could still have a sibling finally for a daughter. Only it would classed as an only child again. 

Urgh ... to go through that again in such space dimensions... the change since ... social media ... and the perpetual cycle of the school years runs, responsibilities, repeativenesss  ... !!! 

My first beau still having children not quite teenagers yet ... at our age ... 

I was just shy of thirty when I had my kid ... and those school friends with great grand kids now, such as those who had children when still at school themselves ... 

The perplexity in dimensions of one generations off spring ... 

Thy bin smells

The time in ill limbo...

I tracked back in the automated archives to track thy steps ... it tis too long for the record. My sister will forgive for she hears the ill in thy voice ... and I would not take it lightly to ask for someone to come here. 

As it is ... to smell the bin and see the state of myself I plopped in the bath and intend to do basic errands ... at my last first aid day it tis advised to go outside if you are on your own in feeling you need assistance. My legs caved too much to do so ... I sat it out ... moved with care, ate the best I could ... my secret ways in nutritional values when unable to cook at times etc etc etc ... 

I may or may not indulgence some of my inner secrets ... on these matters ... I do keep myself to myself the way I cope in thy circumstances ... 

Defunct this far

along in time, one would think now this blog ... but oh no ... all the time I am lumbered with the cumbersome tide of piecing together a world and getting lost in it ... I get entombed in the invisibility of life ghost of past 

 I can tell from my steps o meter which days out recent ... 

The step o meter

is my gauge to the outside world ... the memory jog when days blur in the receding depths I am now back among... at least today more affirmative plans for the time away to keep one going ... 

The reminder too now I am enticed to be a pet sitter. The nurturing time again ... it has often been said to get a pet for company. ...

I am enjoying the freedom of whims ... after being couped up too long for anyone ! 

In ... Out ...

.. in and out ... and disperse it all about ... in fact a lotta work it out ... the antagonistic in part today. The very much getting on with the lot of it. A hearty warming meal made even though a bit of a muddle in mind ... after clearing the head in three walks out in the light drizzle... 

The days

that I still avoid I will keep moving The fact I have holed up less on returning after I rather be inside is progress. And I am probably getting a more discerning shopper too. Especially for the traditional post festive month blues ...  This is amazing ... 

A frosty white covering ..

... and a beautiful sunrise witnessed ... the start of a day for a car, train, tube train, and train and the walk  ... journey...

The train just pulling up into another well known city. This route we made the most of with the young person railcard to see many people and places over years back. 

The full circle on lone travelling again ... this time in the early widowy way ... 

The functions back to a life explore beyond habits of OCD or plain over the top in a phobic way 

assertive in time festive

to challenge the lurking echoes of four walls and a ceiling that became'th ... the dilemmas diluted in ducking the challenges for a time. The different social and craft activities once more and in a triangle of places. The old anew and new new. The totally cosmic sparkling glittering spectacle on the senses ... will help chase away the coming blues,  the red rage and blankness of what is to face in delving back in the mould mess of circumstances bellowing silent within a home